I’m their Mother, Not their Father

orphans2I’ve been highly annoyed today as I am right before Father’s Day every year. Maybe it’s because I get the inevitable discussions with my children about their absent father, which requires honesty and lots of diplomacy. Maybe it’s mommy guilt for not being able to do all that I want to for them. Mostly its the Happy Father’s Day greetings I get from well-meaning friends who are trying to say that I’m both mother and father to my children.

Truth is. I am their mother and I am not their father. I can never be no matter how many light bulbs I change or soccer games I sit through.

Even if I wanted to say I was both mother and father my children know this is not true. They are very aware that their father is missing. Not just physically but spiritually.

You see fatherhood is much more than the supplying of money or the man in the house. It is a spiritual connection and calling that many men seem to miss. This is why there can be a man in the home and children still feel abandoned.

Thankfully God has promised to be a father to those who have no father. He can teach men who want to be better fathers how to accomplish that. He enables our children, though fatherless, to live complete lives as He fills those spaces which yearn for a father’s spiritual connection.

If fatherhood or motherhood were just physical acts then many of us would fail as we can never measure up or provide everything our children may need in their natural lives. But when we include the spiritual element that we give and is essential for their growth, then it balances out and in fact supersedes the limitations we have in the physical.

God’s promise to my children is that He will be their father. He will father those abandoned or orphaned. He does it in a way that allows us to continue being the best mothers we want to be for our children. It is a full-time job wanting to be a good mother and I have no desire to add to that by trying to be two people instead of one.

So to all the fathers out there Happy Father’s Day.

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