Battles for the Children of God are always won in a place and state of rest. That was one of my lessons learned in 2008. Over and over I tried to do things in my own strength and watch them come to naught as I wanted to have a hand in my own deliverance. I couldn’t understand how any good could come from just sitting down and writing. I had bills to pay, needed to find a place to live and was longing for my children to be with me again. Yet no attempts to find a job, use my marketing and web development skills to make money panned out. It was as if the heavens and the earth were closed to me.
It was a constant tug of war and I was the one pulling on both ends of the rope. God was watching my frantic struggle and waiting for me to buy a vowel, get a clue, sit down and rest but I wouldn’t stop long enough to see that my way was not working.
Every now and again it seemed as if I was making use of the vowels and resting but then bills would come due and I’d be longing for my children and figure this is not gonna work. I will never get my rent paid and my children back by sitting on my you know what writing blogs and stories that I wasn’t sure would ever be published. And so the struggle would begin again and I always ended up alone and on my face, crying my eyes out asking God what it was I was doing wrong?
Two words “Be Still.”
Finally I got the message my circumstance was not going to change until I learned to be still and be obedient. So I got feisty, “Fine you want me to sit here and write? I will. You pay the bills. You figure out how the kids are gonna come back to me and where they would live. You figure out where the money is gonna come from to get my hair done, cause I need a perm and I want to be able to go get a treatment every two weeks.”
There was nothing I didn’t expect God to take care of and there was no responsibility He didn’t handle once I learned to be obedient and rest. I sat down like a princess and just wrote to my hearts content. Yes, it got hairy at times when the month ended and no cash and turned up, but always right on time He would send that web project or marketing opportunity to take care of my needs or simply someone to feed me or meet the need of the moment. He never failed to take care of me and still He doesn’t.
I know I am glossing over some of the hairier and scarier moments of that wilderness season but it is to say that if you know you have been called and you have received your instructions, then just rest in that and wait for God’s timing to be fulfilled. You cannot hasten it to come. The bible always talks about “when the time hath fully come,” and “at the appointed time.” They are very important phrases.
Just as you would not want to bring a child into the world before it has reached full term, so it is to want to walk into a season or a new opportunity without adequate preparation. Only God has the time clock clearly in view, you can only trust in His direction to you. But know that He never leaves your side and in fact you are closer than ever to Him in that wilderness. Since He brought you to it, He will take you through it and you do coming out smelling of His fragrance and glowing from your time in His presence.
Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass. (Psalms 37:7)