Stuttering Again

I am beginning to think I stutter because I keep coming back to the same thoughts over and over since the year began. I am totally good enough and in my weakness is when I am strongest.

Sometimes I want to have it together, I really want to know what is to be before it happens. I don’t like surprises. I want to know that whatever comes I have the goods to handle it or know where to find the solution. But that takes me into worry, which means then I am not living in faith or by faith.

Often I get so caught up in trying to find the answer to a problem that I forget to be thankful in the moment.

What is also becoming clear to me is that God wants me to be just who I am. I know it may not be a new revelation to you but for someone who spent most of their life trying to please others and be what others think you are supposed to be and do, it is a tremendous load off to just be me. Simple, plain at times, and just happy to have a roof over my head and food to eat, healthy kids and a bit of time to write.

It is tremendously peaceful to just bask in God’s love, knowing and accepting He really loves being with me and me being with Him. I don’t have to do anything special, just be with Him. When I do, I find Him always ready to talk and also to listen. He is full of wisdom wanting to pour it into me, so that there is no situation I am unprepared for. I am in love with Jesus, for having such foresight and taking a risk to die on the cross for me. Yes, you were on His mind too but to think, me, Nerissa was foremost in his thoughts (smile).

David says that God wrote the story of His life in the pages of His book before He ever came into being. He did that for each of us. I may be repeating myself on this blog but I can’t help but be thankful for a loving God, who says “You are good enough, go live your life Daughter.”

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