I have to confess this to you. I have not been waiting well. We are asked to “wait on the Lord.” He never said we had to wait well but it does help. For me not waiting well has meant that I have begun to beat up on myself. I swear I have taken one small step forward and 1500 giant steps backwards.
I caught myself calling me names outloud. I didn’t need another soul to tell me what this felt like. I felt as stupid as the words I was calling myself. When did I get so distracted that I stopped loving on me. More often than not, I recognize how easy it is to fall into a routin even while you wait and then you slack off because the waiting seems forever.
What am I waiting on? A miracle of mega proportions. I need God to turn a situation in my life around so drastically, more than my head will spin. In the meantime, I have got to treat myself better. My words are not the words of love that I need to hear right now. So hope you don’t mind if I take a moment and apologize to myself.
Self, I have hurt you. I have called you stupid, idiot, dumb, crazy, out of your mind. Truth is you are none of these things. You are a brilliant women with an amazing God, who has given you an amazing dream. It will come to pass. In His time. In the meantime you are love, so live lovely. You are beauty, so be beautiful. You are smart, so be smart. You are patience, so be patient.
I love you Nerissa.