This is one of those days when I am writing because I need to be disciplined. Most times I write as the Spirit leads and that is good but there are other days when it is just necessary to put pen to paper or in this case fingers to the keyboard and see what happens.
This feeling is not new to me. It is how I got to the stage where I even had a collection poetry worth publishing or a book with my name on it. It was just a need to write as I wanted to be a writer. Many entries in my journals began with “I have nothing to say. Lord help me.” Sometimes only one word in my head and I built a story around it or just a feeling that I needed to verbalize.
Other times it was the only way I could pray. It was how God told me to talk to Him as there never seemed to be words and only a lot of tears. I am somewhere in the middle right now. The tears seem limited and so are the words. My constant prayer is for God to have mercy on me. What never fades and has to stay constant is my yearning only for God. As a woman you are pulled in many directions all at the same time and we seem forced to multi-task. This is never a smart move I have found. You get to the end of the day and started many projects and most of them are incomplete at the end or even if you made it, you are broken and useless to yourself and everyone else.
God really only gives us Grace for today. Jesus aka Grace says in Matthew 5, “Sufficient for today is the evil, so don’t worry about how you are going to eat, live, be clothed. Daddy already knows you need them so don’t worry.” I am learning about Grace and it is not a thing it is a person. That changes everything. Once again the focus changes from acquiring substance to cultivating a relationship with the Master. In His presence is rest and all we need.