I took more of my life back today, made another decision to live and not die, to create the life I desire most and to allow my children to see through my life that when you pray and believe, God moves big.
All year long I have been living out a vision that the Lord showed me at the end of 2007 and in one portion of it, a man, who I assume to be the person of Jesus asks me if I still felt threatened by my ex-husband. I heard myself in the vision say ‘No I don’t.’ In my thoughts as I am seeing myself say this I wonder, shouldn’t it be better to say not at this time? But I felt resolved and so I repeated my statement, ‘No I don’t.’
The man turns and hands me two pieces of an object that looked as if they were broken. I have wondered what those objects were and it was not until two months ago, I saw a news program and realized they were broken shackles such as what my foreparents wore on the slave ships from Africa. The Lord had returned to me the broken shackles of fear and pride that had kept me bound, not just for the length of my marriage but since I have known myself.
But what to do with those broken shackles? Once they were in my hand, I saw Him walk away and restore my children to me. He also restored the children of the school I began. I could see this because they seemed to be on the other side of a big gulf from me and He needed to climb down into it, walk to the other side and then take them over the barbed wire and walk them back to me.
I took that walk with my children on Monday morning. And it is as I write this, that I can see the image in my mind and the area we walked through seemingly to our freedom was a long a ledge, with a barbed wire fence on one side and a great gulf, actually a deep gut that was partially filled with water. Isn’t God good. I would have missed that if He hadn’t taken me down this road today.
Today I take more of my life back. I am putting a stop to the harassment of the enemy. Today I say ‘Satan, the Lord rebuke you.’ My ex has been a heavy weight over my life for almost 10 years now, although we have been divorced for three. I thought the work was done when I left but the hardest work was done just in the past three months as I took the steps not just to be free of fear but to live free of fear and claim the life I want and God says is mine to have.
I convinced myself for a long time that somehow he could still be a factor in there life although we were not together. But when I look at my children and I see what three months of living with him and the three women he went through in that time, I know without a doubt that he was not good for them. Somehow we convince ourselves that our children still need men like him as a father. But how can they when they see you be abused verbally and physically. Why and how could they feel genuine love and affection and live without fear when they see the woman who gave them life be treated in this way? How could they so small and innocent believe that they would not inherit the same fate?
I’ve stopped lying to myself and more than that I am using those broken shackles. God has never brought me through anything that did not have a solution that I could use or equipped someone else to help me with. We forget this God of Justice who says that He repays the wicked for things done against His children. Problem is that He takes longer than we would left to us but His timing is always perfect. The timing is perfect today for me to make another decision to take back my life and that of my children.
I pray you will do the same.