Fear Factors – Inadequacy

The Fear of Inadequacy – Someone else is better than me, someone else is more qualified more experienced, more money.

REMEMBER – “Your gifts will make room for you.”

The best example I can give of this fear is how I felt when I committed myself to writing full-time. What gives me the right to think I can speak about relationships, money, fear or anything else for that matter? There are a whole lot of mess ups behind me that says I may not be the best qualified to do this.

What drives me on is my desire to please God over pleasing this need I have to go hide out somewhere and pretend I have nothing to say. It is the need to see you be better than you were yesterday because now you know that you don’t have to live a life where this monster controls every thought and decision you make.

This fear of inadequacy starts for me simply with the thought that maybe my words are too simple and I can’t write profoundly enough. Even after I conquer that battle and get to the place where I am at peace with writing a simple book that anyone can understand, the thought shifts to maybe I won’t be able to finish it.

In high school my history teacher always complained to my parents that I would always start out my essays and papers wonderfully, then halfway through the process I would just get tired and jump straight to the ending. I have yet to figure out why I did that but I believe it had to do with my fear of not having enough time and the words to get it all out. For almost ten years this fear kept me from writing because I was confident that I would never be able to finish what I started. There was never enough time, enough words and certainly if I jumped ahead to how I would get it published, then for sure it was a waste of time to even write the book.

But now I have conquered that fear of completion but then more inadequacy pops up. Who will want to read what I wrote and suppose nobody likes it? After all I could never call myself a writer if no one bought the book.

I am sure if we each pulled up our inadequacy tree from the roots we will find an event from childhood or some other occasion that led us to believe that we were not good enough. Mine came from a religious upbringing that although we preached God’s love it was heavily laced with penalties and the premise that any moral failures were terminal and unforgiveable.

The truth is, Jesus did not just die on the cross so we can have eternal life if we accept Him but He died, so we wouldn’t have to be punished for our human failings. I hope that you will look at the fears that are driving you and make the decision that you won’t let it hold you hostage anymore. Freedom comes when you know the truth of why you feel the fear, then you can deal with it.

1 Response

  1. As she engages in a silent disputation in her head she removes herself from the godlike impersonality of being a pastor’s daughter and draws her audience in to walk with her because as humans we are imperfect hence the need for Jesus’ death.

    A testament to amazing writing and what one can do with words and a way to look at the world around us…

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