The Art of Reinvention

2007 has been a year of reinvention for me. I have had to let go of a lot of my issues and personal plans to embrace the one that God has been birthing in my spirit for more than 10 years.I remember in 2005, as a participant in two different project management workshops, having to take self assessment tests. You know the ones that let you see if you are a director, creator, analytical or other… Well both times I took the test in that year, I maxed out in all areas. The question one instructor asked was had I recently gone through a life change. Of course, I had to answer yes. Divorce, relocation, birth of my fourth child, trying to reestablish myself and the list went on and on. She told me, take the test in six months or a year and hopefully it should level out and you can see which areas are your natural gifting. In other words, you are in survival mode right now and everything is in high gear for one purpose…make it through another day and take care of your children.

I have not taken the test again but I will. I know my natural gifting…Its been my dream since I know myself. I love to talk. I love to encourage. I love to see people come more into themselves. I love writing and the power of books to evoke dreams and change.

For the past two years, I have tried my hand at everything that came to mind. If I had the idea I was going to at least do the research. Do whatever is in your heart to do cause the Lord is with you. That was my mantra and I just went for it. I started Victory Christian Academy, which is still going strong, I revamped my foundation and developed several new events that have gained regional and international exposure. I got to develop trulycaribbean.net, which was visited by more than 100,000 people this year. I can go on and on.

But I remember December 2006 looking towards ’07 and telling my sisters, “Next year I am going to travel more and I want to have a book published. I want to extend my boundaries because my vision is greater than for St. Maarten.”

Boy, did I travel. Went to St. Kitts twice, Antigua, and the Cayman Islands. Each trip added a new experience and new dimension to my view of the world around me and the place I want to take in it. But no book. Took me eight months just to get it edited, then it all went on hold. I could blame it on others but I lost track of the vision and why I wanted to be published.

The more I worked, the more I saw my vision becoming clearer. The more I surrendered every plan and dream to God, the more I saw Him turn my heart and mind to His plan and will for me. Does it mean that I went obediently without kicking or screaming. Not on your life. I kept wanting to see God do what He did last week, last month, ten years ago and He kept saying, let that go, we are taking a new journey and only I know the directions.

More than once this year, I have dared to utter these words ‘God that’s impossible.’ Yes, I know what the bible says and I can tell you that I have not met many people with more faith in the impossible being possible than me. But I hit my ceiling and had to repent. Had to surrender my mind and feelings to the new instructions that God was sending. They weren’t really all that new. They were actually the original call that I got 10 years ago but now He was requiring that I surrender my methodologies, my desire to prove myself to others, my personal goals and forsake all again for Him.

One of things I am most happy is about, is that it no longer takes me months and years to get it. Maybe down to weeks on some occasions but for the most part, a few hours and time with God and I let it go. Every time I have surrendered that impossible dream to God, the more He shows me His plan and conforms my personality and abilities to fit His program.

I love Him for thinking of me, for caring about my growth, to take the time to teach me who I am and what He designed me to be. It comes with a price. I constantly have to reject old ideas, and ways of doing and being. Traditions have to take a back seat to what God wants and I am constantly willing my spirit to kneel before God and wait for his instructions.

Now at the end of 2007, I am bursting with excitement. I can hardly wait to see the plan of God unfold in my life and in the people who I have been blessed to minister to and encourage this year.

Want to know the plan…see you in 2008.

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