Name Withheld

I wish I could say it is the most comfortable feeling in the world to talk about being a victim of domestic violence but I can’t. It is awkward and always leaves me with more questions and in search of more answers about me.

But I do it because I am tired of the faceless stories of women and the label “name withheld” or “names have been changed”. For me it allows us to remain victims and never the victor. We can’t say we do it to protect our children for they already bare the scars of the abuse. We do it to avoid the looks and in some ways hope it will protect us from the man, who most likely is still walking the street having some other woman fall prey.

It is not about getting back at them for what was done to you. It is simply about taking back control of your life…all of it. When I talk to youth groups and women, I realise they are relieved to hear someone they know admit to dealing with it. It allows them to acknowledge their own pain and discomfort and they want to.

I am not sure if I will ever be comfortable with sharing my story and I hope to be past this soon…I don’t want my life to be about a moment which lasted way too long, brought much emotional pain but taught me so many lessons.

Until then I will speak for if it allows another woman to realise that she can live again and she does not have to spend another moment alive as the victim.

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