I Miss Breastfeeding

The saddest day in my life was not the end of my marriage it was the day my baby girl decided she did not want milk from my breast. I mourned her loss quite heavily and still do.


Breastfeeding is a woman’s best friend. Forget about all the reasons its great for your baby, the benefits to the mother are equally as good.

I had the pleasure of breastfeeding all my babies for an average of six months or more. This princess of mine was well on her way to month number eight and I was not in a hurry to stop. But I figured she was dissing me when her feedings went down to twice a day and then once a day, then sometimes two days would pass and she would not want any. Boy did I try to prolong it.

Then, the spotting began and I cried. It meant the return of my monthly or as they say in Jamaica, My Aunt from Red Hills was here. I could count on one hand the number of times I had seen that aunt in the eight years I was either pregnant or breastfeeding.


This time as well, there was no man around to help with the raging hormones and boy were they. Then the acne began. I had not broken out like that since high school. Ugggh! Then the mood swings. All of a sudden I knew just when that distant relative of mine was coming for a visit. Prior to babymaking it did not change my world at all. It came, it went. It came, it went.

I guess that’s part of my body aging and I am not sure I am liking it yet. I have to find a way to deal with the mood swings and the crankiness cause suddenly my kids are looking like good targets and that is a no go area for me.

So its lots of early bedtimes for them, a nice warm shower for me and a good book and some prayer. Cause Lord knows, I don’t like me much right now.

“Don’t make any life changing decisions during this time,” my friend says. I’ll do my best not to. Cause with me its never a simple decision like do I wear jeans or a skirt today. Its usually do I start a new business, move to a new island, or better yet….have a baby?

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